Happy New Year!

May this year be

A year of Health & Happiness

A year of Wealth & Wisdom

A year of Peace & Prosperity

A year of Glee & Glow

A year of Love & Laughter

Happy New Year!

December 30th, 2011 Miscellaneous Tags: , , 0 Comment

All I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From Santa

Encourage people to believe in you.

Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.

Don’t pout.

It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.
Some days it’s ok to feel a little chubby.

Make your presents known.

Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.

Bright red can make anyone look good.

Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.

If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.

Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say:
“HO, HO, HO!”

Author Unknown

Christmas Is for Love

Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for reuniting with family and friends, for tinsel and brightly decorated packages. But mostly, Christmas is for love. I had not believed this until a small elf-like student with wide-eyed innocent eyes and soft rosy cheeks gave me a wondrous gift one Christmas.

Mark was an 11 year old orphan who lived with his aunt, a bitter middle aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s son. She never failed to remind young Mark, if it hadn’t been for her generousity, he would be a vagrant, homeless waif. Still, with all the scolding and chilliness at home, he was a sweet and gentle child.

I had not noticed Mark particularly until he began staying after class each day (at the risk of arousing his aunt’s anger, I later found) to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Mark spoke mostly of his mother. Though he was quite small when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman, who always spent much time with him.

As Christmas drew near however, Mark failed to stay after school each day. I looked forward to his coming, and when the days passed and he continued to scamper hurriedly from the room after class, I stopped him one afternoon and asked why he no longer helped me in the room. I told him how I had missed him, and his large gray eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, “Did you really miss me?”

I explained how he had been my best helper. “I was making you a surprise,” he whispered confidentially. “It’s for Christmas.” With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from the room. He didn’t stay after school any more after that.

Finally came the last school day before Christmas. Mark crept slowly into the room late that afternoon with his hands concealing something behind his back. “I have your present,” he said timidly when I looked up. “I hope you like it.” He held out his hands, and there lying in his small palms was a tiny wooden box.

“Its beautiful, Mark. Is there something in it?” I asked opening the top to look inside.

“Oh, you can’t see what’s in it.” he replied, “and you can’t touch it, or taste it or feel it, but mother always said it makes you feel good all the time, warm on cold nights, and safe when you’re all alone.”

I gazed into the empty box. “What is it Mark,” I asked gently, “that will make me feel so good?” “It’s love, ” he whispered softly, “and mother always said it’s best when you give it away.” And he turned and quietly left the room.

So now I keep a small box crudely made of scraps of wood on the piano in my living room and only smile as inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows when I explain to them that there is love in it.

Yes, Christmas is for gaiety, mirth and song, for good and wondrous gifts. But mostly, Christmas is for love.

Author Unknown

 

 

Holiday Diet Tips

If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.

Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories.
This includes any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten whole),  and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.

Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel.
This includes Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

If you eat the food off someone else’s plate, it doesn’t count.

If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.

Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories

And remember STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards!

Author Unknown

Top Ten Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don’t Like

10. Hey! There’s a gift!

9. Well, well, well …

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

4. I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think — I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

And the Number One Thing to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like:

1. “I really don’t deserve this.”

Recipe For Christmas Joy

Ingredients:

1/2 cup Hugs
4 tsp Kisses
2 cups Smiles
4 cups Love
1 cup Special Holiday Cheer
1/2 cup Peace on Earth
3 tsp Christmas Spirit
2 cups Goodwill Toward Man
1 Sprig of Mistletoe
1 medium-size bag of Christmas Snowflakes (the regular kind won’t do!)

Method:

Mix Hugs, Kisses, Smiles and Love until consistent.
Blend in Holiday Cheer, Peace on Earth, Christmas Spirit and the Good Will toward Men. Use the mixture to fill a large, warm heart, where it can be stored for a lifetime. (It never goes bad!)

Serve as desired under mistletoe, sprinkled liberally with special Christmas Snowflakes.

It is especially good when accompanied by Christmas Carols and family get-togethers.

Serve to one and all.

Author unknown

December 14th, 2011 Miscellaneous Tags: , , , 0 Comment
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